The internet is abuzz with the symmetry of it being 12-12-12 and my good friends Anne and Trevor celebrate their 25th wedding anniversary today, so it is truly a special occasion and a good note to end off on.
I'm definitely not unique nor special, and assume that most women will feel as I do about their bodies. Right now - uuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh.
The feeding frenzy started in June, when the dream holiday and endless parties began. The holiday came to an end, the parties petered out, but sadly for my aching bones, the noshing and guzzling of booze didn't slow down for a minute.
I'm feeling decidedly sorry for myself, as I pack my duffel bag ready to jet off to Moz next week. Not much left in the cupboard that fits, and even less that looks good. And completely NO point in trying to rectify six months of overindulgence in a few days, with Christmas and 2M by the bucketload on the horizon.
Sigh.
I've dusted off the Low GI eating plan, I'll have to get around to reading that in January. Something has to work- the minor blips in the orgy of food and booze that denoted small signs of denial in the past few months made nary a dent in my butt, stomach or thighs.
Double sigh.
My frantic attempts to self comfort with a chilled glass of wine and lashings of Chocolate Rum cake, or whatever else is in the fridge, have not made me feel one jot better about the boys leaving home. Now I'm stuck with grieving that, AND self loathing. Life is sucky, sometimes.
So, in my eternal quest to find the 'bright side of life', I'm revisiting a lightbulb moment I've had a few times over the past few years.
Friends.
Could we do without them? No. Are they always there, through thick or thin, hot or cold, richer or poorer? Yes, indeed. (funny, they fulfill marriage vows better than spouses, and friendships last lifetimes, whilst marriages often don't. I digress, sorry)
The absolutely best thing about friends is the looking glass of their eyes. Test it for yourself. Think of your best friend. Notice her close set eyes, her cellulite, double chin, thin and lacklustre hair, wobbly arms.
See it? Yes. In the same way that we notice an animal is a dog, not a cat or that someone is brunette or blonde, we do notice every detail of our friends appearance. We notice them all, then are completely oblivious to the flaws, and only see the good things.
Her eyes are close set, but a stunning shade of green. She has cellulite, but the warmest, most engaging smile and laugh. Double chin? can't see it. Etc.
Notice that the flaws she focusses on, that cause her self loathing and hours of unhappiness and dissatisfaction, YOU don't see. Or care about.
To you, your friend is the sum of all the many, special things that make you friends. Her warmth, love, humour, kindness, loyalty, intelligence. You admire her lovely hair, long legs, cooking talents. The body flaws are completely ignored, overlooked and unimportant.
And of course, she feels the same way about you. She bemoans that your stomach is flatter, you are more creative and that you have better legs. Does she see your batwing arms? Frizzy hair? Pouchy eyelids? Not a damn. She is focussing on the beauty spots, the uglies remain unseen.
My Christmas gift to you is the wish that you will see yourself through your friends eyes -
- don't focus on the small flaws
- admire the many beauty spots
- see the bigger picture, holistically
Just for a few minutes, look realistically at yourself - as she does. Find the special in you the way she can. Feel the love. And know that the real picture of you is not the one in your head, far from it.
Believe that you are the person your friend knows.
Because you are.
Happy Christmas to one and all. May 2013 bring your dreams to fruition, good health, much love and an abundance of kindness and laughter your way.
