Travelling Heavy

Today, Freedom Day, is a most inappropriate occasion for a rant, especially because if I had my way in this matter, people's freedom to drag copious amounts of large sized luggage on board a short flight would be rescinded!

Last week I embarked on a short (90 minute) domestic flight, on a 737-800, packed to capacity with 189 passengers.  Seated in 1C, the first aisle seat on the plane was strategic for a quick disembark later.  Knowing that I didn't have to fight my way along the aisle to my seat, I delayed boarding until the plane was about 50% boarded.

Wow, what a shock to step through the main door and halt for several minutes, unable to reach the very first seat on the plane - a mouse couldn't have squeezed down the overburdened aisle stacked to the gills with passengers trying desperately to stow unwieldy items into the bulging overhead bins.  And another 90 or so pax still to join the fray!

Really guys, it's 90 minutes.  The weather at both ends was fine, so no heavy outer garments were cluttering up the space.  All you need close to hand - a book or whatever your preferred form of onboard entertainment, your wallet for the snack service and a friendly attitude.  Everything else (valuables, laptop and cameras excepted) could be safely checked in and collected less than two hours later.

The large, dreadlocked middle-aged dude in the middle seat next to me, very put out to discover the aisle seat he'd claimed as his own was actually mine, needed FOUR trips up and down that stagnant passage to find niches for his extended hand luggage.  The chaos caused by this repeated traverse was mindboggling, and my eyes, level with the luggage piling on board as the rest of the mutts climbed on, popped open wider and wider.

According to the regulations, hand luggage is limited to one piece each (+ a handbag for ladies, goodie for us) of a restricted size.  I watched HANDBAGS bigger than the regulated carry on bag dimensions lugged past me.  Every single passenger had a minimum of two pieces, and very few of the pieces were less than a roll on bag size.

The overhead bins couldn't cope; the pilot repeatedly requested people find their seats and strap in so that we could leave; the poor cabin crew, squashed between seats, irritated standing people and mountains of baggage, were taking pieces off people and handing them overhead to ground crew to put into the hold.

Yes, we left and arrived late, solely due to the selfish idiocy of the passengers. Besides the 'I couldn't give a damn about what they say, I don't want to check my bag in and have to wait for it on arrival' arrogance, what about the inconvenience to your fellow travellers?  And safety?

Guys, those limits are there for a reason and I object to your endangering my life so you can step off and go hell for leather to the terminal exit rather than hang around the carousel. It would really screw my day up to crash land, so please please please can you act like a responsible, considerate adult and think of the well being of the larger body of passengers rather than solely your own?

The airlines deserve a severe smack on the chops as well.  You make the rules, damn well enforce them.  On the ground.  At check in.  It's unfair and impractical to leave controlling hand luggage to the minimally staffed cabin crew minutes before take off.

We're A Tough Lot in Africa

“Africa is not for sissies”, “ ‘n Boek maak ‘n plan” and my new personal favourite “In America it’s called survivor, in Africa we call it camping.”

Gotta love the gungho arrogance of South Africans but in truth, there is an underlying ring of veracity to these oft quoted axioms and T shirt graffiti.  We love our bakkies (utility vehicles, to foreign readers) tough; no self respecting vehicle brand would dream of marketing their double cab as anything less than a vehicle which can climb mountains and ford the deepest rivers.  I heard of someone who left her double cab somewhat lower on a Mozambican beach than she should have, returning to see her Toyota’s remarkable island impression with the Indian Ocean at full high tide lapping at the windows.  And yes, she drove it home once the tide had turned.

Bolstered by our bravado and indestructible vehicles, Saffers can take on the world but is it all about human steel and grit?  Two recent trips to the Kruger National Park demonstrated how resilient nature in this part of the world is too.  Strangled by the devastating drought, the landscape in the south eastern part of Kruger was nothing less than a wasteland of such bleakness it was the perfect set for a nuclear holocaust movie.  Red earth, the scattered remains of bleached carcasses, blighted and blackened trees reaching towards the white hot sky in supplication with the mighty Crocodile River reduced to a string of puddles in a broad swathe of glinting sand too searing to look at.

Less than four months and buckets of rain later, this area is a different realm.  Every causeway crosses water, the bridges span busy rivers and 50 (or more) shades of green envelope tar and gravel roads.

But it’s the animals that really take the biscuit.  Their absolute delight in having water to spare is enchanting.  Family groups of ellies stand belly deep in the rivers, splashing and squirting with abandon.  A chorus of contented rumbling carries across to the audience, continuing as the herds emerge onto the bank and follow the wash with an intense body dusting of sand.  Such bliss.

And I swear I could hear giggles from three zebra up to their knees in a small pool, gulping greedily then flicking their noses and hooves to share their watery joy in a shower of rainbows.

There’s not much between the tip of Africa and the frozen Antarctic landmass so perhaps Mother Nature works extra hard here to ensure our environment recuperates from severe climate damage but the intensity and speed of this turnaround is staggering.  Nature’s recovery from a seemingly dead and buried landscape to one of abundance and happiness is proof of the astounding toughness of Africa.

No sissies here.   

This was published on the backpage of Skyways magazine, April 2017.