HAPPY ENDINGS

When we were little girls, we loved fairy tales – they always had a happy ending.  And the baddies got their just desserts.  What a wonderful thrill that gave us!  We dressed up and re-enacted the stories, always wanting to be the Princess or the hero.  Younger siblings were bullied or bribed to take on the dastardly roles.

Is it any wonder then that as we enter womanhood, and go out into the world - armed with our vivid dreams of castles, knights, flowing gowns, magic kisses - our reptilian brain, guide to relationships, men and children,  whispers sibilantly deep inside us?  Reminding us of the romantic tales that once held us in thrall.  Of proud ladies, intelligent and brave, yet ready to instantly melt into the arms of a handsome knight willing to die for our favour.

What we didn't realise, as we soaked up and sighed over the stories, is that the books filed under F for Fiction, Fables, or Fairy tales contained thousands of words dreamed up in the authors fantasy world.  They may have been set long, long ago, but little fact, historical or otherwise, came between a writer and her tale.

Happy endings are not assured, and indeed, if we had every wish and dream granted, is that really going to give us the best ending?  We learn and grow more from struggle and strife, than nonchalantly accepting only good things. Real life, the one we’re in right now, dishes out plenty of blows and disappointments, shocks and surprises. 

Look back at your past.  With the healing of time and distance, which memories and experiences are the ones that stand out as milestones?

There are plenty of good ones, of course.  Happy holiday moments, births, weddings, graduations.  Something as simple as a Saturday night spent alone, learning how to set up your first music system, blowing the electricity as you put your fingers too deeply into a plug socket, then the incredible satisfaction as you lie on the rug, enjoying a glass of wine, listening to Billy Joel on your very own, self-installed hifi?  (Laugh all you like, I was SO empowered by that experience!)

What about the not so good ones, like a divorce?  Failing to earn your degree? Or a business partnership bitterly falling apart?  Retrenchment, losing money in an investment, heartbreak and disastrous love affairs?  Being the unpopular kid at school, object of derision and scorn? 

Perhaps your real life is closer to a manic funfair ride of always playing catch up.  You’re the lynchpin central to the nauseating rides whirling madly around you, stretched like an octopus in all directions, keeping the family, home and marriage together.  

How sad then, to discover that magazine editors insist on pieces with upbeat endings, that uplift and cheer.  Of course, inspiration and encouragement are essential, and they are part of the magic world we enter when we snuggle up to read our favourite mag.

But is this real life? More to the point, is this a life that you can recognise as being yours?