Light and pretty tasteless as it is, cereal also ends with the 11 o'clock blood sugar crash and the resultant over consumption of tea and cappuccino as a desperate measure to stretch out until it can be decently considered "lunch time".
My, how our eating habits are ruled by the clock. It's acceptable to drink bubbly at breakfast (on weekends and special occasions, spoiled horribly with orange juice) but not gin. Why? If I need that one glass of sauvignon blanc at 9h30 on a Monday to focus my brain on a new week, how does that change my abilities and redefine me a socially unacceptable wino? Any of an enormous range of chemical and sugar laden cancer causing refreshments are fine, but a single glass of an honest to goodness, additive free fermented grape juice is deplorable and may not be mentioned.
OK, that was a sidebar, on with the reason for this post. Indian cuisine. One of my favourite favourites (was I a Maharani in a previous life?) and one rarely enjoyed. The eating facilities in our town unfortunately don't include Asian and Him Outdoors has a fearful intolerance of spicy food - it slides through his system rapidly, causing much discomfort.
But Nairobi, oh, how I love you! Indian cuisine, rather than love, is all around us. Hotel buffet breakfasts have a whole section of Indian food - yellow dahl, chapattis, chicken masala, vegetables - now THIS is a breakfast! Luckily our time here is limited, or my complexion would be ochre tinged!
His beloved's beaming, happy, spice-replete face drew Him Outdoors to suggest we walk down the hill one evening and dine at Anghiti. Lovely ambiance. Superb, friendly service and a three course menu for 1500 KSH per person - roughly ZAR150. Excellent!
Taking matters into my own hands "I'll order for us darling, leave it to me", the Maharani trilled. The poor, trusting lamb did just that. Samuel the waiter was implored to ensure the chilli / spice level was low. Very very low. And, with that proviso, the meal was ordered. Sheekh Kebab Lamb and Murghlai Chicken to start, Lamb Roganjosh and Palak Panneer following. See how considerate I was - three meat and only one vegetarian dish.
The fragrant, mouth watering dishes began to arrive. Him Outdoors plunged into the lamb, then halted, gasping for breath. "Holy @#$! you've poisoned me!"
Yes, it was a bit hot. Actually, move beyond furnace and think centre of the earth hot. Tears sprang down cheeks as the fork approached our mouths - it was absolutely divine Indian food.
Give him his due, Him Outdoors tried. Pushing aside the lamb and chicken, he dived into the Spinach Paneer in a vain effort to soothe his tonsils. The waiters laughed, I didn't dare, politely waiting until he excused himself to go to the bathroom then putting my head down to weep tears of mirth. It wasn't funny, but oh, it was! And the best was yet to come - the long uphill walk back to the Pride Inn.
No sooner had we left the restaurant than he plunged to the kerb and doubled over, belching and groaning. "I'm in agony" he wailed "the pain, the pain!"
Unfortunately, he had no choice but to walk 800m to the hotel and it was indeed both the long road to freedom and a walk of shame. Every few metres he dashed to the kerb, bent down and stuck his fingers down his throat in a desperate bulimic attempt to retrieve and evict the offending food. "My insides are going to burst - the wind is intense" he howled, step by step.
Pity the poor lady walking home who visibly slowed her steps as she approached him, eventually having no choice but to pass the groaning, retching mzungu as he hung motionless in misery. "Jambo" he croaked. Ignoring him, she crossed the road and hastened her steps, no more comfortable with the other mzungu striding ahead in severe hysterics. These white people are crazy, of that she had no doubt.
Back at the Pride Inn, the fourth floor had never seemed so far away as it did that night to Him Outdoors, belching like a two stroke .
And no, we haven't been back to Anghiti. Which is a shame and if you are ever in Nairobi, please do eat there, the food and service are excellent.
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