National Name-a-days

One Twitter item that stopped my scroll in it's tracks was the announcement that yesterday (19th January) was National Popcorn Day.  

National Popcorn Day.  Who on earth came up with that, and why does popcorn, in itself a tasteless tooth cracker reliant on added extras for some flavour, deserve one?  

OK, I admit, I was at a loose end so had time to spare on some asinine research and Google didn't disappoint - list of national days turned up 1 030 000 000 results.  How to choose?

www.all-funny.info/real-list-of-national-days produced 8 pages of days to celebrate and listed at least one item for every day of the year.  A priceless read, it revealed such gems as Festival of Enormous Changes at the Last Minute, and National Bicarbonate of Soda Day.  Truly.

How does a day become dedicated to some arbitrary theme?  Who decides this? Is there a committee interested parties can petition to declare August 6th Wiggle Your Toes Day?  What are the parameters for successful application? And please, please can I be appointed a (hopefully paid, in USD) position on the panel?

So here, dear Reader, for your edification, are a handful of National Days to entertain you.

Look at the Bright Side Day - I like that, we should have one a week.
Festival for the Souls of Dead Whales - takes Greenpeace to a whole new level
Underdog Day - dare they emerge from cover and enjoy this?
Plan Your Epitaph Day - this has some merit, may as well select what legend you leave behind.
Babbling Day - absolutely not.  Quite enough brainless chatter as it is.
International Moment of Frustration Scream Day - now you're talking my language but, oh, only one day a year?  Can we make this a weekly event please?
Moldy (sic) Cheese Day - Why. Would. You. Celebrate. This?
Virus Appreciation Day - doubtless suggested by AVG, Kaspersky, McAfee, Microsoft and Apple.  Or Roche, Aspen, Bristol-Myers.  Can't imagine anyone else would think this worthy.
Blame Someone Else Day - in South Africa our government celebrates this everyday.
Be Late for Something Day, which according to my source is followed by Fight Procrastination Day - now that's a couple of days which is going to screw with my head.  Along with Defy Superstition Day - try as I might, just can't walk under a ladder or spill salt...
World Gratitude Day - another goodie that should be weekly.
Ask a Stupid Question Day - No. No. No. Happens daily anyway and will immediately lead to International Moment of Frustration Scream moment.
World Sauntering Day - sounds good in theory, we could all do with a slow down, but in reality will drive me up the wall.
Take Your Pants for a Walk Day - on my legs or on a leash?  Stupid.
Festival of Popular Delusions Day - well, listen to our politicians and unions, they live this Festival.
Buy-A-Musical-Instrument Day - no. Bad idea 'cos the cacophony of non-musical owners now playing said instruments will lead to madness.
Don't Go To Work Unless It's Fun Day - well, that sorts out the economy and won't be appreciated by the nerds celebrating Workaholics Day.
National Nude Day - perhaps combined with Take Your Pants for a Walk Day?
Create a Vacuum Day - wish I knew what this actually means.  I know loads of people who live in a vacuum but can't imagine replicating this.
Toothache Day - do you have to have toothache on this day?  Why would you highlight something so miserable?
National Answer Your Cat's Question Day - my furries would be quite put out if I only answered their questions once a year.

In my self appointed voluntary role as a Day Name-er, I declare 29th February to be Toothpick Day.  Every one knows what they are and uses them. Not having one at a pertinent time is annoying and produces a wail in every language, "A toothpick, a toothpick, my kingdom for a toothpick."  How much more motivation do you need to give the humble toothpick it's own day?