I'm the person at the party incredulously knee deep in the desperation of people to Have a Good Time, determinedly celebrating the movement of a clock. The same people who bemoan the frantic passing of time and are markedly less enthusiastic about a birthday.
I'm the woman wearing a sardonic twist to her eyebrow as folk eagerly exclaim about how brilliant this year is going to be, much better than last.
Why? How? We turned a calendar page, got a day older, amended the final digit in a date. But changed fortunes? Nah.
Him Outdoors and I spent the 31st December 2016 in Cintsa, a darling little seaside village on South Africa's east coast and saw in the New Year with neighbours who a few hours before were strangers. Pieter and Marlize were funny, interesting sharers of anecdotes and adventures, and respectfully roared with laughter at ours too. Our New Year good fortune began when Pieter slunk off then reappeared bearing a bottle of the most delicious Glen Carlou 'The Welder' dessert wine - he's a regional manager for the wine estate. Now that's a useful friendship to cultivate!
We awoke a few hours later somewhat thirsty and hoarse, eager for a fry up breakfast. Our new friends popped in and we looked around, mutually agreeing that nope, nothing had changed. Same blue sky, dazzling sunlight, tight belt (it's been a long, indulgent road trip!) and expectations that today, tomorrow and next week will follow the same routine and challenges as yesterday and last week.
And life went straight back to normal (whatever that means, I suspect our life is material for a horror/drama novel rather than a romance filmed through golden light). Within hours we were fielding calls about various issues, answering emails, online banking and agreeing that one of us needed to do some laundry, with the usual debate as to who's turn it was.
At one point I stopped walking, causing Him Outdoors to wrench my arm almost from it's socket with the unscheduled pause. (OK, we were holding hands on a beach walk.)
"I have this overwhelming feeling of déjà vu," I burst out. "It feels like ground hog day. Not this romantic walk, but just plodding along with the same old, same old routine guide rails. My head is turning around things I have to do, making mental notes and it's all the usual stuff I was doing daily last year. Finishing off a story, making a dental appointment, thinking about a car service, vowing to kick procrastination in the butt and finally settle down to some serious writing."
"That's what you say every day," his response. "When ARE you going to write that book?" Indeed. No New Year resolution behind that thought at all, merely repetitive contemplation.
And there, gentle reader, you have it. A road trip adventure, mind blown away by so many interesting sights and experiences yet the dull routine waiting just below the surface. We just can't leave it behind. An annual frenzy of overindulgence on every front, organisation stress and labour, a few days downtime and then whoopsie, the brain fires up like a rusty generator and we're back into the rut.
Frankly, no amount of eagerness takes this stuff away and hopeful expectations of a different life beginning on a particular day is lunacy. Challenges, disappointments, accidents, happy moments, health issues and exciting news will occur as the year unfolds. Like they did last year. No special magic because we put the word New in front of Year.
So flip the calendar and diary over (really? You still use paper?!) teach your brain to write the different digit and get up every morning with cheer. This is your life and as long as you have shelter, food, are able to earn some income and have good friends and a loving family, you are cracking 2017 already.
Just don't call it New.
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