An Unselfish Love

Living life through my kids?  Phah!  They stole my dreams. Long before Number 1 son was wearing long pants, I wanted a spoil vacation at Phinda Private Game Reserve. That's clearly a long term goal, because 20 odd years later I'm still waiting to enter Phinda's portal whereas he's lived there for weeks at a time. 

Being offered his first real flying job was cause for celebration, although his being based at Phinda was kinda freaky. And sending photographs and anecdotes about lionesses and cubs in the hangar and elephants in his garden was downright cruel.

Think about it in terms of someone who wags her tail at the slightest prospect of boarding a plane. That is what he does, EVERY day.  Gaborone, Maun, Victoria Falls, Antananarivo, Pemba, Harare, Windhoek, Vilanculos - Number 1's daily coffee stops.

                          

Number 2 son morphed into a microbiology scientist. Something of a surprise because I had him pegged more hands on with rocks or lizards, even dinosaurs. Yes, he battled to shrug off toddler fascination with feathers, interesting stones, Jurassic Park, reptiles of all shapes and sizes but never in a Mesozoic Era did I visualise him glued to a microscope, pouring over spores, bacteria and horrid little germy things.

How is it possible that he is almost en-route to the Antarctic on a scientific expedition? Well, two expeditions actually.

AND he goes via Chile for the first one so he can add South American stamps to his passport, which is a continent his mater has never stepped foot upon. 

The real miracle is, though, that I'm overwhelmed and completely delighted for both of them. Truth be told, I suspect I'm more excited about their travels and careers than they are. They are both so good at what they do and so totally in their natural space that they don't see how remarkable they and their lives are.  

Every now and then (OK, probably three times a week. At least) I almost pinch myself to make sure this is all real.  There are definitely not 50 shades of envy but I own up to 50 shades of thrill and happiness.  It's so exciting to watch my sons visit the places I've always wanted to but never will.  I lap up the photographs and stories and am on tenterhooks for the Antarctic chapter.

In a dog-eat-dog world where jealousy rules and whatever your colleague and neighbour has or does highlights what you don't, it's rather refreshing to be genuinely excited and delighted for something someone else has and does. 

Especially when it makes the ordinary look extraordinarily mundane, and involves my dreams. 

Parenthood continues to teach important life lessons long after our chicks have fledged.