Long Walks to Decadence

If you've spent anytime reading (and hopefully chuckling) your way through Lightly Green, you are sure to have spotted one truth - life with Him Outdoors is anything but mundane.

Please don't let on to him that actually, despite some intense whinging and broomstick waggling at times, I really miss him when he is not around. The initial sigh of relief as the stormy seas calm to a millpond and things run smoothly to plan quickly turns into a longing for a swell or seven. If personalities were continents, he'd be Africa with all it's bumpy, potholed roads, surprises, curiosity and sheer joy of being alive.

One (of many) areas where we differ is calculating distance. There was the time we decided to take our afternoon walk to Randjiesfontein Spar "it's about 2kms away" HO declared. My veteran walking legs declared the 2km mark at one point but a query was answered by "it's just through this boom, out the other side and across the road."

True, it was, after another 2kms. Over an hour later we limped home and Grumpy had to google the distance to prove her point - 8.6kms in total. So much for his calculation.

It got worse before it got better, too. Briskly setting out to explore our new home in Nairobi, two days in a row I faithfully followed him and both times, legs aching and lightheaded in the heat, we ended up hailing a taxi to get us back to base. Exploring country lanes is one thing and the vistas of grazing cattle and horses, fields of wildflowers and lush overhanging trees was delightful but eventually, feet complain and my tummy demands sustenance NOW. The askari manning the gate must have thought we were totally mad, striding out at 7am only to be Uber'd home 2 hours later.

There is always, however, always a shining light in the darkest hour of life with HO and yesterday delivered a beacon of supreme indulgence. Well, actually, it was just a cup of coffee but served in an oasis of unbeatable luxe. 

Our stomping route passes an enormous, pale pistachio wall trimmed with white, the discreet sign simply stating 'Hemingways'. Yesterday, HO suggested we call in for a cuppa as we returned past the imposing entrance. In we went, guilelessly charming gate askaris and the manager who greeted us at the door. "A coffee? Of course, you are welcome. I'll take you to a table, would you like to join us for breakfast as well?"

Yes, we would, but unfortunately we don't have a spare kidney to sell at this point in time.

No, I promise, we didn't say that, but assured the nice man that another day, we'd love to. 

Plantation splendour, serene, immaculate, jaw-dropping and graciously magnificent, Hemingways is where I want to live when I grow up. There we were in our finest walking gear, muddy sneakers, glowing faces and the wonderful staff treated us like royalty.

Oh, my, what a treat. The coffee was superb but, quite honestly, even Ricoffy would have tasted heavenly in that setting.

Someone asked me a while ago whether when my goals have been achieved, I set new ones. Yes, I do and here is my latest one - a weekend in this palace of tranquility.

But this, ladies and gents, is why life with HO is addictive. Who else would dream of popping into a luxury boutique hotel for a coffee as we walked past? This little indulgence satiated the senses as much as a $1 million treat. 

Or am I a cheap date?

Farewell to Felines, Friends and Family

It's not even midway through the day and my emotional climate has bounced about with the speed and dash of an Olympic table tennis final.  Struth, I'm exhausted!

Firstly, the heart cracked like crazy paving to say 'Cheer, darlings' to these woeful little faces. The guilt weighs heavy and the grief...

Then, blooming with the radiance of an award winning sunflower, we were treated to a fast 10 minute cuppa at OR Tambo airport with beloved No 1 Son before we stepped past the point of no return.

Him Outdoors sped us away from the coffee shop, setting records for clearing security and immigration before I could absorb that this was, in fact, yet another farewell.

It's been a long time coming but finally, today IS the day and off we set on a new adventure. 

So why the tears, heartache, fear, anxiety? This is, after all, another step in a plan to break out of the mould and live a little before we lose our teeth and reach for the zimmer frames.

All the farewells and drawing a line beneath our lovely home and life in South Africa would probably not take as high an emotional toll if our future was a little more, well, settled and structured. There are so many 'what if's' and worries, uncertainties and concerns. We've cast off without a safety net, relying on our ability to tread water and keep doggy-paddling to shore. But what if? There are many sharp rocks and hungry sea creatures out there and I do believe we forgot to pack the anti-shark spray!

The positive underlying ray of sunlight is the personal reflection and learning that never ceases, despite the unstoppable advancing years. Today reinforced a lesson learned with the arrival of babies and motherhood, knowledge that faded somewhat over the years but has pushed to the fore again.

The boundless elasticity of the heart, it's really quite remarkable. Cracked, dehydrated and broken one moment, bursting with eternal love and joy the next.

Now if only my saggy skin had the same resilience...

Luggage Allowance for Cool Cats

Houston, we have a problem! In the course of pricing travel arrangements for two cats to fly to Kenya, I've uncovered an airline scam.

The inequality between furry and human passengers didn't strike me when perusing the (eye-watering) quote, terms and conditions of travel to Kenya for Speckle and Anushka. New to the importation of pets, I was well unprepared for the logistical and expensive nightmare of relocating with my fur-babies and several glasses of icy Sav Blanc were required to absorb the exercise.

However, it was only when debating the amount of luggage Him Outdoors and I are allowed to take that the crux of the matter revealed itself. We get 30kgs each, which is not as much as it sounds when you are packing for a long term stay. 

A one way ticket for the cats, exclusive of any type of refreshment or comforts which have to be provided by the owner, is R4900 each. The same flight for us, including copious amounts of Bombay Sapphire & tonic, red wine, snacks and a 3 course meal, a staggering choice of entertainment all enjoyed from the comfort of a seat provided by the airline, is R3786 each. And we get 30kg of luggage allowance as well.

Now, Speckle can't relocate without her catnip infused scratching post - how else will she get her manicures in Nairobi? OK, I can't make too much noise about importing the cat dope but if I get a duty free allowance on Bombay and Bubbly, surely she can have her nip?

Princess Anushka absolutely cannot travel without her Furminator brush. Her life will end if thrice daily brushings come to a halt. 

More to the point, HO and I are interested in merging their luggage allowance with ours, there must be another 59kgs available for us!

While this isn't an issue right up there with global warming and world peace, it certainly deserves contemplation and discussion, surely? Equal rights for all airline passengers, I say.

In the meantime, two bored purries quietly wait. Speck already has her sunglasses to paw, ready to leap into her cat carrier. Well, actually that's a stretch. Knockout drugs are on the 'to do' list as well.