A few months ago I was given a real flashback to childhood - a paper straw. Oh, this one bore little resemblance to the pale yellow and white striped paper straws of my youth. This straw was the Kim Kardashian of straws - a piece of sparkly gold bling popped into a fruit crush.
And yet...
What annoying feature of paper straws had I forgotten, only to find that bling or not, millennium paper straws are no different?
The business end of a straw, the bit delivering delicious mango freeze to my tastebuds, became soggy and firmly sealed after a few minutes. I was forced to finish drinking directly out of the glass amid memories of this same battle fought decades ago. No wonder we seized upon plastic straws with relish!
The experience was related later over a lazy glass of wine with a friend in the packaging industry. An interesting source of info about recycled packaging and the environmental hazards of our overpackaged world, she agreed that the paper straw just wasn't cutting it.
Wham, her significant other arrived proudly bearing a white card tube - his company's latest development in the straw industry. Our debate heated up like an Olympic standard table tennis match with only one conclusion - why not accept the end of the straw completely?
Think about it - as fully functional humans from the age of about 4 years onwards do we really need a straw at all? How many millions of dollars in terms of cost and brainpower is being spent to find an environmentally acceptable, practical replacement for the dreadful pollutant plastic straw? Paper and card, I'm afraid, in my opinion just don't cut it. Yes, we could carry our collapsable keyring straws around with us but it won't take long, like the shopping bag, for that to fall away and for us to not have said straw with us when needed. I guess restaurants, already investing in cutlery and teaspoons, could invest in dishwasher safe metal tubes for customers to use but why can't we just drink directly out of the glass, can or bottle? Why exactly do we need a straw (besides the obvious needs of hospital patients and very young children at times)?
"Milkshakes!" Andrew proclaimed proudly, relieved to find a reason for his hard research into paper straws. "You can't drink milkshakes without a straw." Well, yes you can, Andrew, and it is possible to wipe the frothy moustache off your face too!
The corset, gravy boats, payphones, computer floppy discs, photographic film development, landline phones, dial-up internet are all examples of everyday items that have fallen into obsolescence, why not the straw? It's such an easy thing to do without and surely research and development budgets and time have better things to do?
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